Currently Listening Coral Fang By The Distillers Dismantle Me see related

Well... lookit that ^_^

Holy shit! Its a xanga revival kind of thing.. I kinda miss knowing what's going on in your bitches'es lives and all that.. I don't really get to see anyone anymore.. It used to be my fault because I spent like 90% of my freaking time in Northern Virginia (and I fucking miss doing that now) but blah blah.. I miss you guys. I can't really do shit now because after 2 months my mom's back from the hospital, and we've decided that I need to move out soon, so yeah.. Once I get a job, I'm getting out of here.. Not quite sure where I'll go, but its been almost a year since I got back, and I sure as hell aren't going to stay to put up with more crap.

November = lame sadness and depression for me, but if i can get some things worked out and make my way back down to virginia and talk to someone, things might get a bit better. and then if the plans for thursday work out, then hell yeah!

Currently Listening Start Static By Sugarcult Pretty Girl (The Way) see related

hmm.. people are coming back to xanga.. how odd

 so.. i may be fucked.. i didn't get that job that i went for, so that sucks for me. i haven't been able to talk to anyone about moving in with them lately, so i have no idea what's going on there.. so right about now i'm fucking stuck. and the worst thing is, there's a lot of stuff on my mind that i can't seem to make okay. a lot of it isn't my fault (but for some reason i can't help but want to blame myself). Things seemed to be going ok for a few days, but now i think i'm worse off than where i started. it doesn't really help that i feel like i have no one to lean on.. the people who i expected to be the most supportive... well.. i was wrong about all of them. so people.. fail at life.

and to make things better.. i haven't been able to sleep in 3 days.. hooray... and i doubt that i'll be able to tonight.. nothing that i've tried has worked... trying to relax, trying to clear my head, listening to "soothing" music (which just makes me upset), sleeping pills... no effect.. so yeah.. bleh.. lame

sh*t has hit the fan! :D

so.. uhh.. i'd better fucking find a place to go soon! lmao... my mom apparently didn't even want me to come back from Seattle and that hasn't changed..

<in the middle of an argument that she decided she needed to have with me while Sara was waiting pretty much right outside the door>

Krissy: Anyway, $300 a month for a 19 year old is kind of ridiculous. 

Her: NO IT ISN'T!

Krissy: And even if I could work at the USDA again i'd only make like $500 a month.

Her: NO YOU WOULDN'T!!! YOU GOT WAY MORE THAN THAT EVERY MONTH

Krissy: No.. I didn't I got about $520 every month

Her: Well, forget the $300 a month anyway, I don't want you here.

Yep.. so... I'm out as soon as i can. I'm throwing all my crap away :(.. i liked my crap.. but in the meantime i should be a bit more concerned with seeing people who matter to me (partially so i can expand my "people who matter/ people who make me happy" photo album(s?), but mostly because i'll miss you mo fos.. (the ones who still use xanga. and even the ones who don't.) but anywho.. yeah

when i was at the store for stuff my mom asked me to get, she called my sister who just moved to Missouri to see if i could move in with her..

<after i get back home and Sara leaves>

Her: I asked Keisha (my big sis  :) ) if you could go live with her (i suppose she's trying to get rid of me as soon as she can.. pfft, like i'd try and find a reason to stay.), and she said "Sure if that's what Krissy really wants."

Krissy: No, i'll find my own way.

Her: *angry* What do you mean?! or is that even any of my business?

Krissy: No, I'll find my own way.

So yeah.. I shall find my own way indeed.. If i want, i can go live with one of my sisters.. but i don't think i'll do that.. i don't wanna be a mooch... I kinda wanna go back to Seattle.. but that can wait... I could go to Indiana with Jason.. I don't know how that'd work out.. but it doesn't seem too bad.. or i could go with Jon in VA... and then end up in Canadia..

blarg.. i'm not too worried i suppose.. i've wanted to move out since before i was 5.. and now i'm doing it :D.. i believe she's decided to be just as much of a cunt to me as normal until i leave.. so.. that's fine too i suppose..

but yeah.. HANGING OUT WITH THE KRISSY IS LIKE... SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE MAKING TIME FOR!!! so yeah.. get on that nachos..

squonk.

Well.. my yesterday was pretty awesome.. I went to see Pirates III with 2 of my sisters and one of my nieces.. and then we went to P. F. Changs for dinner.. fun times it was.. my sis gave me a memory card for my camera, but it doesn't exactly fit, and its kinda stuck now.. but whatever.. i'm still happy about yesterday.. and since i didn't sleep the night before, as soon as i got back home a crashed HARD... sleep = sparkadelicious.

i guess sometime today or tomorrow or whatever, i'll talk to my mom about leaving and crap, blah. my sister who's moving to Missouri is offering for me to come with her.. but it would be kinda awkward to live with just her since we're so completely different. but, hey, another option is definately a good thing. Once i'm gone though, my sisters are making it clear that we're basically cutting our mother off. so, that'll be the end of that.

i'm in the process of cleaning out my room still, so that's kinda fun to find old stuff.. hehe, i found pictures that i took in middle school and even some from like 5th grade. so yeah, that's pretty cool. ooh.. and i finally used the gift card that i got from Ge-off last year and my thingie came today instead of on Thursday like they told me, so that's pretty kick ass too.

things are pretty alright for now i suppose..

Who's happier than Krissy right now? NOT YOU!

I don't know if its because its so late and i'm soo tired.. but i'm a bit happy right now. My mom is still being psycho, my sisters are still fighting, people are just being all around assholes, and yet still, i feel good right now.

After these past few days i KNOW that i can't stay in my house much longer.. and luckily i have people to help me out with that. Jason is serious about letting me move in with him.. and now his brother is on board to help me get there!! I'll probably be leaving sometime in July!!! I just don't have an exact date yet. I don't care if I won't know anyone in the state aside from him and a few of his family members (its more people than i had in Seattle though).. but i will miss friends here. meh.. its not like i can't come back to visit (if i had somewhere to stay) and I don't think that he'd have too much of a problem with people stopping by to see me. so i guess I'm happy about that.

I don't know what my sisters will say about this, or if i should even bother telling them. its pretty obvious that my mother isn't going to know where i'm going and that there will be no way for her to contact me. its a pretty weird situation right now, but i'll be with people who make me happy and who'll actually treat me like family (since that's something that they don't do). I'm still looking for a job here for the time being, but i guess i'll get something that doesn't take too much committment. I don't want them to have to pay for everything for me. its a big enough deal what he's offering me anyway. i just kinda wish that my sister was leaving earlier.. she's the only reason why i'm even still here now. oh well.. i guess i can be patient a bit longer.